Powerful Weekend for my heart, mind and soul at the Beth Moore Living Proof Conference this past weekend.
I have written before about what our call is but so many times, my desires outweigh that call in such a way that the devil gets to play in my mind. Like wanting Church Ministry again. Really, I don't want it, I want to reach children for Jesus but I don't want the politics of church, I don't want the cradle to grave option of grace in a building.
My heart wanders and wonders time and again what being in the church would be like and I go searching and sometimes even applying for jobs just to get shot down. It's not that I am not qualified, I am well qualified. But those rejections are reminders to me that God has us right where he desires us to be.
He has us as a Light in the Darkness shining His light. We don't have to preach the Gospel, but we do have to live it so others see Him in us. It doesn't mean we don't mess up, because we do greatly, but it also means that we need to be who He called us to be.
I have struggled with this for 6 years, the want to be back in the walls of a church. And we tried, we really did in Beaver Utah. What we realized was that God is not just in the church, he is everywhere! In every person who walks with Him and walked in our doors.
I think too, part of what I have wanted was a church that wanted the deeper things of God. The healings, the Words, the love, the passion, the excitement of what God has for our life, those things that are tangible but you can not purchase because He has already purchased them by the blood. I want the Revival in the Church every single time we walk in, that same expectancy.
During Revivals and Conferences, people come with expectant hearts, hoping for life changing or life altering messages, healings, Words of Knowledge that they can breathe in and walk out with a passion that is restored. Some hold on to it when they leave the events and some lose it as soon as they walk through the doors at home or at church. Beth spoke of the churches using the gifts that each person has that will allow growth of the person and of the church. If every church used every gift every person had, it would be an outstanding church that would grow increasingly fast.
My hope has always been to find a place of worship that is always expecting the greater things of God and allows the Holy Spirit to have His way with them during the time. Speaking and moving in such ways that it's not made up by the person but by the Holy Spirit. That that person becomes so on fire for God that the passion is ever sustaining and needs more of Him and needs to serve the Lord in a greater capacity than ever before. Also, it does not serve milk but it's for meat eaters that desire the deeper things of God, not in a Sunday school setting but in the body of the church.
I have not found such a place, a place to dig in a belong. I am not sure what the state of the churches are but I have looked and have not found. I search for them, I look at their websites and then look beyond. I look at their beliefs, their sermons, their pics, and more. I did in as much as I can. I don't fit into any one denomination. I am a walking in the Word Christ Follower who desires to know him so deeply and so personal that my life reflects it like a glassy lake.
So, as we begin a new week... A new time... A new beginning, let us remember to RuN the RaCe He has Set before us.
So, do you know Him? Really know Him? Are you living your life for Him?
Let's really dig into our own life and look and see if we are? I know I have lately, always reassessing to see if I am.
You are so worth every breath He has given you.